9:13 AM


I’ve never been one to demand that any man I meet have a big penis, because until you’ve been with someone who has a small one, it never really crosses your mind. But then I had sex with someone who had a small penis, and all that changed.


According to science, the average erect penis is 4.7 to 6.3 inches in length. Of course, being that this is just an average, penis size can vary greatly. If you live in the Congo, you’re likely to come across some pretty big penises, because the average size there is 7.1 inches. In contrast, the trophy for residents with the smallest average penises goes to North Korea, with 3.8 inches.

I never actually measured, but for guesstimation purposes, I’d say that his erect penis was a little longer than my thumb (under two inches) in length, and maybe a little larger than a roll of quarters in girth. So, considerably smaller than the average penis. I stuck around for a few months, and here’s what happened when I had sex with the small-penis guy.


1. I Was Initially Surprised



I think I’ve gotten to a point where, like many of us, I’m desensitized to most things. However, when I reached down to touch his penis that very first time, I was surprised and confused about what I found, given that I'm accustomed to having sex with people of a more typical size. So I made my move south for a closer look, and even in the dimly-lit room, I could see that sex with him would be way different than what I was used to.

2. I Had To Teach Myself Not To Ask "Is It In?"

I know, I know. It’s a horrible thing to even think, let alone say, but sometimes I really had zero clue as to whether or not it was in there. I’d even clench my muscles, as if doing a Kegel, to see if I could feel it. And even then, I wouldn’t be totally sure. I’d have to subtly reach down, pretending I was stimulating myself for extra fun, to feel out if he was inside me or not. This was most especially the case in the missionary position.

3. We Did A lot Of Doggy Style


Doggy style was literally the only position in which I could actually feel him a bit. In fact, it got to the point that we only had penetrative sex that way, because I was legitimately scared that I’d accidentally ask at some point, “Is it in?”

4. I Became A Master Of "Deep Throating"



To be honest, even with his entire penis in my mouth, there was no deep throat action going on, as he barely even reached the spot that induces gagging. But he loved that I could “deep throat” him, to use his words. Although no other guy has said it since, because I just can’t do that with anyone else.

5. I Learned To Enjoy Anal Sex


Before meeting this specific person, I had had anal sex maybe two or three times with my college boyfriend. I wasn’t a fan at all -- a lot of which, I assume, had to do with his penis size. But when you’re not really feeling too much vaginally, you need to try something else. That something else was anal.

With anal, we both benefited. I got to actually feel something (and with zero pain!), and he got to actually feel something, too. Considering the size of his penis, I imagine that vaginal sex may not have produced as much friction as would have been ideal.

6. It Was The Only Time I Actually Loved Receiving Oral Sex

I don’t like getting oral sex. Never have, and never will. However, this guy gave oral sex like you would not effing believe. I realize that every woman who’s ever been with a guy who has a small penis says the same thing, but it’s true. Not only was it fantastic, but he wanted to do it all the time. Which was awesome, because I wasn’t getting any sensation from intercourse. It was just … WOW.

7. I Realized That Saying It Was "Big" Was A Very Bad Idea


Although I’m sure that every person with a small penis is well aware of their shortcomings (pun!), I can’t imagine that many discuss it, or even want to bring attention to it. But this guy was very open about the fact that his dick was small. It wasn’t like he talked about it all the time, but it’s not like he ignored it, either.

But it was the first time he mentioned his size that things got awkward. I didn’t know what to say. Do I tell him I’ve seen smaller? Do I say that it feels bigger than it looks? What does a woman in this predicament do?!

So, being the occasional idiot I am, I said, “What are you talking about? It’s pretty big!” This, of course, led to an argument about how I was lying and just trying to make him feel better. Which was true, but what else was I supposed to say?

I realized then that some things just shouldn’t be discussed, ever. Especially if you’re just trying to be nice and it’s a total lie ... and it's about penis size.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:

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